Prior to entering into recovery, there is always chaos in the family. Treatment, recovery, and lasting sobriety, should all work to settle down worry and rebuild trust.
A recovery agreement is a positive document, encouraging long-term recovery, and outline a path to family reunification. Prior to treatment boundaries were crossed and ultimatums yelled. The recovery agreement reestablishes boundaries and encourages more treatment and helps to rebuild trust.
The agreement below includes many options; use this only as a template for ideas. The agreement should work for both the person in recovery and for the concerned family; it should be worked on together to support reunification of the family. Remove line items that are not applicable.
Family Recovery Agreement
All parties, (PoC, mom, dad, partner, children) agree to the simple terms of this plan. This plan is a living document and may be modified with feedback and input from this team and the treatment professionals helping to support John’s recovery.
The goal of this plan is outline aftercare plans for (PoC) and the family, supporting long-term recovery.
By signing, (PoC) understands and agrees to the following conditions:
- Refrain from all mood-altering substances; the family supports total sobriety.
- Complete the recommended days of treatment and follow all aftercare plan recommendations provided by the (facility name) treatment team.
- Utilize the support of a Recovery Coach to help establish accountability outside of (facility name) for a minimum of (30, 60, 90) days post exit, attending x meetings per week.
- Submit (3 x) daily breathalyzer for a period of 1 year post treatment monitored by (name)
- Attend peer recovery support meeting, such as AA daily for 90 days (90 in 90) after discharge from treatment and re-evaluate meeting frequency thereafter.
- Find an AA home group with 2 weeks of discharge.
- Within 30 days of discharge, maintain a Sponsor.
- Within 30 days of completing recovery coaching, continue with weekly or bi-weekly therapy. Frequency of sessions to be reevaluated after 90 days.
- Within 90 days of discharge, (name and name) to seek couples counseling.
- Upon discharge, participate in a weekly check in session during the first 2 months with the family support team and Adam (Suntra Modern)
- Will maintain general releases for Recovery Coach with treatment team to include: family, psychiatrist, therapist, sponsor/peer recovery support, and testing company in regards to (PoCs) engagement, attendance, and any relapses. No private therapeutic information is being requested.
(Family members) are fully supportive of the choice to be in recovery, and will:
- Detail financial support
- Detail living arrangements and support
- Car / phone / college
*Family should detail the support that they are willing to maintain or incentivize recovery, such as paying for sober living, further education, living arrangements.
Return to Use
The family understands that relapse is possible despite a solid recovery plan. Any positive Breathalyzer test or failure to complete testing when requested may result in being asked to attend a higher level of care for continued treatment.
In the event of a positive or missed breathalyzer / drug test
- One or two missed tests, monitor will contact (PoC)
- 3 missed tests, or positive, monitor will contact PoC and (family representative)
A return to use that lasts less than 2 days, PoC will contract sponsor, and commit to 30 meetings in 30 days, and increase recovery coaching to daily meetings.
A return to use that lasts over 2 days, or failure to take family and professional recommendations; PoC will enroll in an IOP or return to (facility) for 2 weeks.
With any return to use, the family will consult with Suntra and take the recommendations of professionals.
A relapse that does not result in immediate action to continue recovery will result in the request to rejoin (Facility) as a resident in a 2 week fast track program.
Untreated Return to Use
(PoC,s) family is so proud of the accomplishments in (their) recovery journey thus far and recognizes there is more progress to come.
If (PoC) does not agree to carry out any portion of this agreement and avoids “best practices” and standard treatment approaches to his recovery, then (PoC’s) family will move forward as detailed in the family realignment.
The family is committed to supporting (PoC) in a life of recovery and look forward to this future together. By aligning on the goals and commitments detailed here, we are collectively choosing a life of love, honesty and happiness. (Poc) has the choice to continue using alcohol and drugs, forgoing the recovery plan detailed here. In response to a return to use, (PoC’s) family has the choice to realign their plan.
Family Realignment may include, but is not limited to:
- (PoC) will not be welcome to live at home with (mom, dad, partner and kids).
- (Mom and Dad) will not support (PoC) with finances such as (…)
- (Separation, divorce).
- *review “Family Support” above and align what PoC could loose with untreated return to use
It is the family’s intention that the recovery plan detailed here supports (PoC)’s goals and wishes and that realignment will not be necessary.
Family’s dedication to recovery work
By signing (PoC’s) family understand and agree to the following:
- No major decisions regarding (PoC’s) recovery will be made without consulting with his Recovery Coach and the (facility) treatment team first.
- Listen to and acknowledge (PoC) input in (their) treatment and long-term recovery plan.
- (Partner) will attend at least 1 Al- Anon family support meeting weekly for the first 90 days to begin the process of developing healthy boundaries that will aid (PoC) in (their) continued recovery.
- (Partner) will seek and develop a relationship with an Alanon Sponsor.
- (Partner) will engage in weekly calls with Suntra Modern for the family sessions and will attend any meetings requested by the Recovery Coach.
- (Partner) will continue with weekly therapy.
- (Partner) will maintain an alcohol free and drug free home upon POCs discharge for two years.
- (Mom and dad) will maintain a home where alcohol will be out of sight and protected via locked storage
- (Family or friends) agree to refrain from using drugs or alcohol when having Colby over to their home.
- All family events will be alcohol free for a minimum of a year. To be reassessed after one year.
- Hold each other accountable to the points of this agreement throughout its length and to the point of consistent recovery behavior.
- Engage recovery as an opportunity to change any dysfunctional fabric of the relationships affected by addiction.
- If for, any reason, someone in the family is unable to comply with conditions in the recovery agreement and actions taken show an emerging pattern of continued enabling, that family member will be asked to attend at least a week-long codependency recovery workshop at a location recommended by Recovery Coach.
Family Statement of Recovery
It is the goal of the family to recover together; we understand that a commitment must come from both sides. This document is not meant to be punitive; it is to clearly state boundaries for both sides.
The intent of this document is to encourage lasting recovery, and family unification, additional treatment will always be the default prior to implementing negative consequences.
The family didn’t cause (their) addiction, they can’t cure it, and they can’t control it; but they do contribute to it, so by acting as a unified team and holding each other accountable, we can avoid relapse into enabling behavior and being naïve about addiction.
Addiction is a disease of secrets and lies that will divide families and leave relationships to rot. With Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness, we can work together in recovery to unite the family once again and bring you to a point of being stronger than ever before.
By signing this agreement, (PoC) agrees and accepts all the terms stated above, giving 100% to (their) life in recovery.
By signing this agreement, the family agrees and accept all terms stated above and to continue to support (POC) in (their) journey in recovery.
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and recovery coach at Suntra Modern Recovery. He received an MBA from the University of Chicago and built a company, which United Health Care acquired. He learned his rigor and attention to detail from his career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today Adam is dedicated to working with individuals that want to change their relationship to drinking. Adam Banks is often called by families to help untangle crisis situations through a loving and inclusive approach to interventions. Adam often engages in coaching executives, pilots, and physicians in recovery.
Suntra offers a free video course for families considering hosting an intervention for a family member.
Suntra Modern Recovery provides medical treatment for alcohol and opiate addictions via video visit with medical doctors. Suntra’s alcohol and drug intervention services are available locally in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally. Treatment for alcohol, opiate and heroin addiction, including Suboxone treatment, can start today.